Not The BBC News: 30 April 2014

The film “Heaven Is For Real”, a true story about a four year old boy’s descriptions of a brief visit to heaven whilst on a hospital operating table, has had a very successful opening weekend in America, taking $22.5 million at the box office and easily beating Johnny Depp’s new blockbuster. The boy’s father initially dismissed his son’s stories as drug-induced hallucinations until the boy started describing real life events that he had no knowledge of, such as his mother’s previous miscarriage (he described a “sister who had died in mummy’s tummy”) and recognising his great grandfather from a photograph. The boy is now 14 but still occasionally makes comments about Heaven that surprise his father. His opinion of the film is that it’s good, but the scenes showing heaven don’t quite match his memories: “They do a good job, but Heaven is just so much better than that.”

For the third time in 18 months, the Northern Ireland assembly has voted against introducing gay marriage. The BBC website quoted the head of Amnesty International who said that “politicians in Northern Ireland are like latter-day King Canutes, trying to hold back the tide of equality.” However, a spokesman for the Christian Institute said, “After three votes in less than two years, those pushing for gay marriage should take the hint. Just because politicians in Westminster have ridden roughshod over the opinions of hundreds of thousands of ordinary citizens and redefined marriage, doesn’t mean Northern Ireland needs to follow suit.”

David Cameron has rejected the introduction of civil partnerships for heterosexual couples in England and Wales, against the wishes of the Liberal Democrat leader, Nick Clegg. The move was rejected because it might be seen as introducing a “two-tier” marriage system; because it might cause further dissent amongst Tory MPs; and because it would cost the Government an estimated ₤3bn in public sector pension rights if all unmarried heterosexual couples chose to become civil partners.

A Christian woman in  South Sudan is facing a possible death penalty because she is pregnant. She was born a Muslim but converted to Christianity and married a Christian. However, Islamic law does not recognise her conversion or her marriage, and therefore considers her to be pregnant outside wedlock.

The British model who had planned to have an abortion so that she could have a chance of appearing on TV’s “Big Brother” says she has changed her mind after feeling her baby kick and watching videos of late term abortions.

Max Clifford, the publicist who helped many celebrities overcome or play down accusations of sleazy behaviour, and also invented a number of celebrity “kiss and tell” stories, has himself been convicted of eight counts of indecent assault against teenage girls over a 20 year period.  He apparently used stories of his connections with high flyers in media and entertainment, real or imagined, to persuade young women to perform sex acts in return for introductions.

A long-running case of political score-settling in America over the issue of abortion has finally ended. Phil Kline was Attorney General of Kansas under a Republican administration; he investigated two abortion providers for carrying out illegal late term abortions and for failing to report possible child sex abuse if they carried out abortions on girls under 15. However, when a new State government under Democrat Kathleen Sebellius was voted in, Kline’s investigation was stopped; evidence showing one of the abortion providers had filed false documentation (after Kline’s investigation began) was shredded; the law requiring abortion providers to report consensual under-age sex was repealed; and Kline himself was prosecuted, first for “illegally accessing private medical records” (he was entitled to, and was granted, the records in redacted form) and later for deceiving state agencies in order to obtain information for abortion investigations (which he admitted). The State Supreme Court decided Kline’s case after an unprecedented five of the seven members recused themselves for conflict of interest; the verdict was that Kline was “overzealous”,  had “dishonest and selfish motives” and had “failed to take responsibility for his misconduct.” Kline’s law licence was suspended indefinitely, and this week the US Supreme Court decided not to accept his appeal. Kline is now a university professor in Virginia; Kathleen Sebellius is  now U.S. Health and Human Services Secretary; and the head of one of the two abortion clinics involved was “assassinated” in 2009.

In sport, the semi-finals of football’s Champions League pitted two of Europe’s most famous teams against each other.  Bayern Munich were trailing Real Madrid by 1-0 from the first leg in Madrid, but had high hopes of overturning the deficit at home. Instead, Real won 4-0 to book their place in the final, with Cristiano Ronaldo scoring two goals to become the all-time top scorer in a single season of the competition.

And finally, the owners of a Hertfordshire cottage decided that the ornate wooden pot that they had been using as a doorstop should be taken to an antiques specialist to be valued. It turned out to be an 18^th/19^th century Chinese Zitan artwork, and is expected to sell for ₤100,000.  

Not The BBC News: 28 April 2014

The pastor in Kazakhstan who was arrested on a charge of putting hallucinogens in the Communion wine has finally been freed after eight months in jail awaiting trial. The court gave him a suspended four-year sentence for “psychological manipulation” of a 34 year old woman in his congregation, and ordered him to pay several thousand pounds in damages to her. The alleged victim claimed no harm had befallen her, and other members of the congregation supported the claim that the drink was a non-alcoholic beverage used for Communion, but the victim’s mother had complained (in 2011) that the church was damaging her daughter’s mental health. The pastor is expected to appeal; his lawyer said there had been multiple violations of court procedures, and the church say they have been pressurised by the State on several occasions.

A candidate for a small party in the forthcoming European elections decided to quote a book by Winston Churchill about Islam, using a megaphone in the centre of Winchester. The passage he quoted included the phrases: “Besides the fanatical frenzy, which is as dangerous in a man as hydrophobia in a dog, there is this fearful fatalistic apathy”; “The fact that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property – either as a child, a wife, or a concubine – must delay the final extinction of slavery”; and “Far from being moribund, Mohammedanism is a militant and proselytizing faith.” Shortly afterwards, the candidate was arrested by the police.

The law of India now recognises three sexes: men, women and eunuchs. The latter group, which includes effeminate boys and people born with indeterminate genitals as well as castrated men, has been officially listed as disadvantaged which entitles it to jobs and university places under a government quota scheme.

The US state of New Hampshire has formally repealed a 223 year old law banning adultery. Although the penalties are now much less severe than when the law was first passed, the main reason for the repeal is that it discriminated against heterosexuals, because a court ruled in 2003 than homosexual trysts were not covered by the law.

In technology news, a Chinese company has used giant 3D printers to make ten full-sized single-storey houses in one day. The houses were built of successive layers of cement and construction waste, and cost less than $5,000 each to produce.

And finally, a 9 year old boy who was kidnapped from his driveway in Atlanta, Georgia, escaped by singing the same gospel song over and over again until the kidnapper threw him out of the car. Willie Myrick said as he sang “Every Praise” during the three hour drive, the kidnapper kept cursing him and telling him to shut up before finally opening the car door and ejecting him. The author of the song heard the story and flew from New York City to meet Willie; they hugged and then sang the song together to a crowded church.

Not The BBC News: 21 April 2014

Several schools in Birmingham have been inspected by OFSTED and the Department of Education because of rumours that they were effectively running as Islamic schools, despite not being faith schools. A leaked report suggests the charges are substantiated at some of the schools, with girls sitting separately from boys; religious education concentrating almost exclusively on Islam; compulsory Arabic classes; and sidelining/threats to women and non-Islamic teachers (five non-Islamic head teachers have retired in the last 6 months). Unofficial reports also suggest that children were taught that Islam is an advanced development of Christianity. Some of these ‘facts’  are being disputed by the foundation that runs many of the schools, and by Birmingham City Council (who have been criticised for previous inaction); a high level investigation is expected.

The Archbishop of Canterbury gave a major interview after visiting Christians in war-torn parts of Africa. A lot of the interview centred on gay marriage. The Archbishop prefers a beneficent case-based approach, but this leaves him caught in a dilemma: he would probably prefer to provide church blessings for gay marriages, because of past cases of hatred and bigotry against gays; but much to his surprise, even the pitifully poor Christians of South Sudan who had just buried their war dead told him that they could not accept any help from a Western church that supported gay marriage. Furthermore, he had heard of a case where a group of Christians were killed because, the killers said, “you are going to try to make us all gay,” which made him wary of implementing pro-gay policies that put further lives at risk. However, the former Bishop of Rochester (who was born in Pakistan) said “Christians are being persecuted around the world for their faith, not for what western leaders do or don’t say about homosexuality,” which throws doubt on the Archbishop’s wisdom in generalising from specific cases.

David Cameron’s supportive comments towards Christianity and its influence in Britain have been condemned by a group of 50 secularists and atheists, including some high profile novelists. In a letter to the Daily Telegraph, they argued that Cameron is “mischaracterising the UK as a Christian country” and that this has “negative consequences for our society and politics […] it fosters alienation and division in our society [and] fuels enervating sectarian debates.” The 2011 census found that 59% of Britons self-identify as Christians, down from 72% in 2001.

A 23 year old model announced in the Sunday Mirror that she intended to abort her 18-week-old foetus in order to become famous on the reality programme “Big Brother.”  She said, “I’m finally on the verge of becoming famous and I’m not going to ruin it now.” However, her admission appears to have severely damaged her already slim chances of appearing on the show: a ‘source’ from the show’s producers said, “How can we work with her – or pay her – if she admits having an abortion to achieve that?” The model says she does not know which of two men is the father, but that both have offered to support her if she decides to have the baby.

In sport, Manchester United’s dreadful season – their worst for 20-25 years – looks likely to end with the sacking of their manager, David Moyes. Moyes took over from Sir Alex Ferguson last summer when Ferguson retired after 25 years, but has enjoyed very little success. Moyes is a practising Christian, but this does not seem to have had a positive effect on the Red Devils’ performance on the field.

And finally, an American medical journal has published a study that shows that listening to gospel music brings significant benefits to older Christians. The study found that over-65s who regularly listened to Gospel music were less anxious about death and had increased life satisfaction, self-esteem, and sense of control over their lives. The authors wrote, “Given that religious music is available to most individuals, it might be a valuable resource for promoting mental health later in life.” 

Not The BBC News: 17 April 2014

Both U.S. President Obama and U.K. Prime Minister David Cameron have made pro-Christian statements in Easter week speeches. Obama said, “We recall all that Jesus endured for us, all so that we might be forgiven of our sins and granted everlasting life. And more than 2,000 years later, it inspires us still.” Cameron went further; he said, “Religious freedom is an absolute, fundamental human right. We should stand up against persecution of Christians and other minorities [sic] at home and abroad […] and should be unashamed in doing so.” It’s not clear how these comments will translate into practice, although David Cameron did refer to the UK Government’s draft bill to combat modern slavery.

An evangelical sect in Mexico that ran shelters for children from broken families, or whose parents were temporarily unable to care for them, has been accused of illegally allowing church members to adopt the children, and brainwashing them. Fifteen children “disappeared” from a shelter in 2008, apparently due to adoption; twelve have now been located.

Dayuma Caento, who was the first Christian believer amongst the infamous Auca (now known as Waodani) tribe in the Amazon jungle, died on March 1 at the age of approximately 80. Dayuma lived for a while in another tribe’s village to escape the violence in her own, and so was the first contact (and basic language teacher) for five American missionaries who wanted to reach the Auca in 1956. The missionaries were killed, but in 1958 two of the missionaries’ widows wanted to begin language work with the Auca people. Dayuma, who had become a Christian, agreed to return home and helped with translating the New Testament.

A Ugandan Christian who converted from Islam ten years ago has spoken of the persecution he has faced from his family and others  after being admitted to hospital with suspected insecticide poisoning – just after eating a meal at his aunt’s house. His wife left him almost immediately he converted; he was fired from his job at an Islamic school; when he started a Christian school, he faced lawsuits for allegedly defiling a local sheikh’s daughter and from the previous land-owner who denied selling the land; and last year his house was burned down. He is appealing for funds after leaving hospital with his treatment incomplete because the money ran out.

In Ukraine, in the eastern city of Donetsk which is held by pro-Russian forces, Jews have been ordered to register and to list their property or be deported. The parallels with the actions of German fascists in 1941 are disturbing. Local Jews are waiting to discover who delivered the instructions, and under what authority.

In sport, Bubba Watson won the U.S. Master’s golf for the second time. Watson is one of the more outspoken Christian sportsmen in the USA. He tweeted that he was “rejoicing.”

And finally, North Korean embassy officials have complained to the police and the Foreign Office of ‘provocation’ about a hairdresser in South Ealing, London, who put up a promotional poster showing the North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un with the caption “Bad Hair Day? 15% off Gent’s Cuts.” Kim Jong-Un has reportedly required all young men in his country to have their hair cut like his, which has sparked worldwide derision; for example, an April Fool joke stated that the band One Direction had been banned from playing in North Korea until they had their hair cut in the approved fashion, and also changed their band name to Un Direction. The hairdresser said he was not aware that the North Korean embassy was close to his salon; he also added that two men from the embassy had visited him twice, taking pictures, making notes, and then demanding that the poster was taken down. He refused, and added that his two visitors did not have the approved haircut. 

Not The BBC News: 14 April 2014

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In Pakistan, the 9 month old boy who was charged with attempted murder has been taken into hiding by his family. His father said, “We had to move to a secret place because we are poor and the police are putting huge pressure on us to manipulate the case.” Evidence is also emerging that the authorities’ claim that they were stoned while investigating gas theft was exaggerated; in fact, they were trying to disconnect the gas supply from houses which had not paid their gas bills, and residents dispute whether the resistance they encountered was violent. The judge has decided to dismiss the case against the baby, but his parents (among others) are still to be tried.

In the State house in Alabama, a debate over whether to lower the abortion limit to the moment where the foetus has a detectable heartbeat was overshadowed by a black Democrat politician. He  argued that white people would almost always choose abortion if their daughter got pregnant by a black man, and added, “I will bring you 100,000 cash dollars tomorrow if you show me a whole bunch of whites that adopted blacks in Alabama.” A Facebook group to prove him wrong sprang up almost immediately, and this week over 100 people, including adopted black or mixed-race children, rallied at the State Capitol. However, the politician has so far refused to pay, arguing that the rally is “a small group taking a position on something.”

Harold Camping, founder of the US Family Radio network, has died at the age of 92. Camping was notorious because he persuaded large numbers of people to believe his predictions of the date of the Rapture. Having awaited it in vain in 1994, he announced that he had got his calculations wrong and that the rapture would occur on 2 May 2011. As that date approached, there were stories of people rushing into marriages; running up credit card debts; resigning from jobs; giving away their possessions; and paying websites to send farewell messages to those who were left behind. There was even one mother who stabbed her two children and herself (fortunately, all survived). After the date passed, Camping initially tried to revise his predictions again, but eventually apologised for his “sinful” mistakes.

The husband and wife filmmakers who made Disney’s Oscar-winning film “Frozen” spoke in a recent interview about what was and wasn’t acceptable at Disney Studios. “Disney is not the sanitized place that you might imagine it to be,” they said, “they are happy to hire people who have done off-colour stuff in the past. It’s funny – one of the only places where you have to draw the line is with religious things – you just can’t put the word ‘God’ in a movie.” The husband, Robert Lopez, previously co-wrote the satirical Broadway play “Book of Mormon.”

A church in an affluent neighbourhood in North Carolina has installed a bronze statue of a homeless Jesus sleeping on a park bench outside the church. It was purchased as a memorial for a parishioner who loved public art. Reactions have been varied; some found it insulting, and one person called the police. But it is now common for people to sit on their bench, rest their hands on the pierced bronze feet, and pray.

In technology news, the latest in wearable technology is a ₤100 pair of shoes with Bluetooth installed that will discreetly guide you home by vibrating in the direction you should walk in.  It’s not clear why this is better than looking at a smartphone, map, or street signs. Also, Google Glass is to be made available to the public, for one day only, on Tuesday April 15^th, to test the appetite for it.  

And finally, a Miami teenager who lost his wallet at a sports event had it returned to him, along with a note saying “I added $20 to it so you know the world is a great place. Do me a favor and when you get the chance, do something nice for someone else.” The wallet was delivered to the teenager’s school two days after it was lost.

Not The BBC News: 9 April 2014

The US Supreme Court has decided not to hear an appeal from a Christian photographer who was heavily fined for refusing to photograph a gay wedding. The case had reached the Supreme Court of the state of New Mexico, which ruled against the photographer, saying that it was “the price of citizenship” that she must offer her services equally to all, even at the cost of relinquishing her religious convictions. However, the US Supreme Court is likely to discuss and pass judgment on the issue in the near future because at least three similar cases are waiting to be accepted or rejected.

Sam Childers, the “Machine Gun Preacher”, has published his schedule for his forthcoming UK tour. He’ll be at Revival Church in Stalybridge & New Mills on 25 & 26 April; Hither Green Baptist Church, London on 27 April; Hope Church, Musselburgh on 28 April; Aberdeen (venue TBC) on April 29^th;  Harehills Baptist Church, Leeds on May 4^th; and also in Tipton (W. Midlands), Conwy, Stockport and Dewsbury. God’s Garage in Dewsbury will see the first UK screening of a new documentary about Childers’ work.

A local newspaper in England inadvertently uncovered a large silent opposition to gay marriage. On the day when gay marriage became legal in England, the Bristol Post published a picture of two men kissing on its front page. It received only nine complaints, but sales dropped by “thousands.” The editor has made an appeal on the Internet for people to tell him what they dislike about gay marriage.

Another Christian couple have been sentenced to death for blasphemy in Pakistan. Their offence was sending a text message that insulted the prophet Mohammed. The couple say that the message came from a phone that had previously been lost; the couple’s lawyer said that a bogus SIM card was presented as evidence, and that the complainant, who is leader of the local mosque, had been involved in a dispute with the couple and had threatened them with the death penalty.

In Italy, an attempt to make “diversity education” standard in Italy’s schools has been defeated. However, the same work seems to be proceeding at local level; an educational group in the province of Florence has secured a small grant to “make a representation of elastic gender roles” and to “promote the use of personal preferences with respect to rejection of pre-established patterns of gender.” Parents in Pontassieve, Tuscany have launched a campaign against the project, quoting the Italian Constitution and the European Convention on Human  rights that both say “public education … must respect the right of parents to ensure such education is in conformity with their own religious and philosophical convictions.”

A new counselling website has been set up by a  group of professional health care chaplains. ChaplainsOnHand.org is available to anyone seeking help, though it is specifically geared to health care. A telephone service is also available.

In technology news, a widely circulated story about a computer virus called “Heartbleed” that requires people to change their passwords has turned out to be true. The virus affects Web servers, so anyone who has bought anything on the Internet in the past two years is advised to change their passwords.

And finally, the National Folk festival of Australia has written a guide to help people distinguish bluegrass and Celtic music. “Celtic songs are about whisky, food and struggle. Bluegrass songs are about God, mother and the girl who did me wrong. If the girl isn’t dead by the third verse, it ain’t Bluegrass. If everyone dies, it’s Celtic.”

Not The BBC News: 8 April 2014

There are reports of a Christian revival in Algeria. A number of converts report actually seeing God appear to them in reality, like a vision; some even conversed with Him.  The pastor of one of the largest churches in Algeria, where every Christian comes from a Muslim background, reports baptising an average of 150-160 new believers per year.

In China’s eastern province of Zhejiang, which has a large Christian population, Christians have formed a human shield around a church that the authorities are trying to demolish. The church in Sanjiang has been under construction for six years and cost $4.8 million; however, a visiting Communist party official apparently decided that the cross on top of the church was too conspicuous and demanded that the top floor of the building be demolished. The conflict is unusual because the church belongs to the “official state church” Three Self Patriotic Movement.

A lawsuit in the USA that claimed it was discriminatory for faith groups to used faith-based criteria for employment selection was dismissed. A federal court re-affirmed the Constitution’s so-called “ministerial exception” to anti-discrimination laws.

The appeal of Asia Bibi, the Christian woman imprisoned for alleged blasphemy in Pakistan, is now due to be heard on 14 April. Her (Christian) lawyer has recounted several threats that have been made against him; his response was to quote Psalm 118:6 (The Lord is on my side; I will not fear; what can man do to me?)

US authorities have arrested a man who claimed to be planning to attack banks, government buildings and mosques with explosives and guns. He was arrested after buying explosives from an undercover FBI agent.

In sport, Britain lost both the final of the women’s Twenty20 World Cricket and also their quarter final in tennis’ Davis Cup. However, the most remarkable loss of the week belongs to Glasgow Rangers. Rangers suffered bankruptcy a couple of years ago and were demoted to the lowest division of Scottish football. They are still making their way back up the league, and are therefore eligible for the lower divisions’ knockout competition, currently known as the Ramsdens Cup. However, they lost the final last week to Raith Rovers.

And finally, 30 people in Punjab, Pakistan have appeared in court on charges of planning a murder, threatening police and interfering in state affairs – including a nine month old baby. Police searching for gas thieves in Lahore arrested a group who were throwing stones at them, including the baby’s parents, and charged everyone in the group. The baby’s father says they were protesting against electricity shortages. The baby was bailed, and the Chief Minister of Punjab has suspended the assistant superintendent who filed the charges.

Not The BBC News: 4 April 2014

A US TV show is to feature an episode in which a father, a megachurch pastor who doesn’t believe in climate change, is verbally pitted against his daughter, an activist trying to shut down the local coal-fired plant. She wants to convince her father to make global warming the topic of his next sermon. What makes this show unusual is that it’s not fiction but a documentary; the father is Rick Joyner of Morningstar Ministries in North Carolina. His daughter Anna argues that “climate disruption is not a political issue; it’s a moral issue, it’s a justice issue, it’s a spiritual issue.” The series is called “Years of Living Dangerously.”

The CEO of Mozilla, Brendan Eich, has quit his post because some people objected to the fact that he once made a donation to a group campaigning against gay marriage. On top of the earlier protests, a boycott of Mozilla had been begun by a popular online dating site, on the grounds that Eich “was an opponent of equal rights for gay couples”. Eich co-founded Mozilla and invented the widely used programming language JavaScript. Mozilla’s executive chairwoman issued an apology -- to the protesters, for not acting quickly enough. Eich received a valediction from Silicon Valley veteran Marc Andreessen, who tweeted, “Brendan Eich is a good friend of twenty years and has made a profound contribution to the Web and to the entire world.”

A court case brought in the UK by a former Mormon against the head of the Mormon church for peddling false beliefs has been thrown out. The judge described it as “[intended] to provide a high-profile forum to attack the religious beliefs of others … it’s an abuse of the court process.” The judge’s decision was supported by the head of the National Secular Society, who wrote that if this case went ahead, “How long before someone takes the Archbishop of Canterbury to court to prove the virgin birth or the resurrection? How long before Richard Dawkins is taken to court and forced to prove his beliefs are true? … If someone freely chooses to follow a particular belief system but then becomes disillusioned with it, they should accept their mistake and move on.”

A recent interview with Bono, the lead singer of U2, found him speaking out about his faith in Christ. “He went around saying he was the Messiah, that’s why he was crucified,” said Bono, “so he either was the Son of God or nuts. […] I find it hard to believe that millions of lives, half the earth for 2000 years, have felt their lives touched and inspired by some nutter.”

The Hollywood film “Noah” has been released in UK cinemas. Film critic Mark Kermode called it “a sweeping science fiction/dystopian future film in the vein of Transformers, Lord of the Rings and Waterworld that happens to be based on the story of Noah … it’s completely bonkers.” However, apart from rock monsters bursting into flames, serpents shedding magical skins, Noah having an adopted daughter and Noah slowly going mad, the film doesn’t seem to have too many digressions from the Biblical story.

In sport, England’s women’s cricket team have reached the final of the World Twenty20 tournament after beating South Africa by nine wickets. They will play Australia, who are in the final for the third year in a row, on Saturday.

And finally, a Christian ghostwriter carried out an April Fool which involved labelling a number of toilets as prayer spaces. The labels carried “relevant” Bible verses, such as “I have wiped out your transgressions like a thick cloud”; “Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity”; “[Jesus] had to be made like his brothers in every respect”; and “thanks be to God who […] through us spreads his fragrance everywhere.” Users of these prayer loos were encouraged to connect with others on Twitter using the hashtag #prayasyoupoo.

Not The BBC News: 2 April 2014

A 57 year old street preacher from Greater Manchester who was arrested by police and held for 19 hours has been awarded ₤13,000 as compensation for wrongful arrest, false imprisonment and breach of his human rights (the latter because he was not fed for 15 hours and was allegedly denied access to his medication for rheumatoid arthritis). The arrest followed complaints by two teenage boys that they felt “insulted” by what he had said; in fact they had approached him to ask what he thought of homosexuals, and on receiving a quote from the Bible with the rider that “God hates the sin but loves the sinner,” they had taunted him with suggestive sexual acts. The preacher received support from an unexpected quarter; the president of the National Secular Society spoke out in his favour, saying that street preachers should be able to make whatever point they want unless they are provoking violence or mayhem. “Being insulted is not a  good enough reason to have someone thrown in a police cell”, he said.

Fife Council has decided to tackle high teenage pregnancy rates by introducing “simple, up-front, non-sensational” sex education lessons in school for six year olds. Parents have been told that they can ‘opt out’ their children from the classes, but were warned that the subject would be touched on in other classes too. One parent commented, “They’re telling our kids how to have sex when they’ve only just learned to write their names!”

A “March for Life” in Peru turned into Latin America’s biggest ever pro-life demonstration, with 250,000 turning out in Lima and 50,000 in one of the other five cities hosting simultaneous marches. The event was largely ignored by the media, however; some sources reported that only “hundreds” had turned up, or showed pictures of last year’s march.

A first-ever gathering of Protestant and Catholic leaders for a conference on Mental Health and the Church was held at Saddleback Church in California recently. Pastor Rick Warren, who lost his son to suicide last year after a long struggle with mental illness, summed up the theme of the conference: “It’s perfectly fine to say, ‘I’m not okay, you’re not okay, but that’s okay because God’s okay.’”

Two national newspapers have featured prominent gay commentators criticising the introduction of same-sex marriage in the UK. The two key criticisms were that “civil partnership already provided the necessary equality” and that “most homosexuals are happy to respect the deeply held beliefs of sincere, thoughtful and informed Christians … only a noisy nucleus of single-issue politicians and protesters actually wanted gay marriage.” Meanwhile, a new poll commissioned by the Coalition for Marriage in advance of the European Parliament elections has found that gay marriage is a major vote loser for the Conservative Party, with more than a quarter of those who backed the Tories at the last European election saying gay marriage makes them less likely to vote the same way, against 11% who say the opposite. The Coalition’s campaign director said, “David Cameron was right when he said that gay marriage was a vote winner – I just don’t think he meant the beneficiary to be UKIP.”

In technology, the UK government has launched a Cyber Emergency Response Team to help businesses respond to online attacks. Its brief includes “coordinating the management of national cyber incidents” and “helping critical national infrastructure to become more resilient.” No-one has yet launched a sweepstake on how long it will be until CERT’s own website is hacked.

And finally, one of the most popular April Fool’s Day pranks was perpetrated by Netflix, which added two new offerings to its “original programming” – Rotisserie Chicken, 73 minutes of watching a chicken being cooked (or rather un-cooked, as it was shown in reverse), and “Sizzling Bacon”, 20 minutes of bacon frying in a pan. The promotional material for the chicken film described it as “a searing, chronology-defying return to one’s origins, in the tradition of ‘The Curious Case of Benjamin Button’ “; one of the “critical user reviews” of the film said, “A sophomoric effort. Could use more thyme. Poorly conceived denouement, with a narrative arc that goes nowhere. Could use more garlic.”