No, you’re not seeing double. This is indeed not “Not The
BBC News”; I’m using this particular blog to write some news that I wish was
true, but actually aren’t. There is an exception; one of the stories below is a
story that I was told as a true story, but since I have no evidence of it, I
have included it here rather than in a normal blog. Bonus points if you spot
it.
A Commission on Consistency and Harmonisation in Laws in
England and Wales has delivered its report on family law. The report includes a
recommendation for a change in the abortion limit. “We listened to various
submissions”, said the Commission, “from those who felt that life begins at
conception through to those who believe that life begins at birth. However, we
think that the most consistent approach is to define life as beginning when a
foetus’ heart starts beating, since death is defined in law as when a person’s
heart stops beating. We therefore recommend that abortion should be illegal
once a baby’s heart starts beating, which occurs at about six weeks’
gestation.” A spokeswoman for a pro-abortion group reacted angrily: “We’ve been
trying to dodge the question of when life actually begins for years!”
A student society called Pro-Evolution, Pro-Democracy and
Human Rights for All, which recruited significant numbers of members in
Freshers’ Week at many UK universities, has caused controversy by revealing
that it is actually anti-gay marriage and anti-abortion. “Gay marriage is an
evolutionary dead end,” said a spokesman for the group, “and as for democracy,
the majority of countries that have passed gay marriage into law have done so
without holding a public referendum, or by ignoring majority public views
against gay marriage.” On human rights, he said “We believe in human rights for
EVERYONE, and if rights conflict then a balance must be struck. The differences
in human rights for gays between civil partnerships and gay marriage are
largely cosmetic, whereas the effects of gay marriage on those who oppose it
are far greater – people have lost their jobs, are frequently subjected to
vitriolic attacks, and are forced to act against their consciences.” His
reasons for the group’s anti-abortion stand were similar: abortion restricts
evolution, and abortion almost always harms the baby’s human rights more than
the mother’s. Student unions across the country are trying to decide if they
can legally ban this group from operating in their university/college; many
find it difficult because the group’s stated principles are so similar to their
own policy statements.
Two Church of England bishops who had recommended that the Church
should perform gay blessings because “the Bible is not clear in its opposition
to homosexuality” have publicly changed their views after several congregations
made a formal request that the bishops attend remedial reading classes. One
said “I used to say that we should put aside arguing about homosexuality to
concentrate on the church’s mission, by which I meant a combination of
evangelism and social care. But having read the Gospels again, I see that
Jesus’ primary mission was to bring about a change of heart in people, and that
moral purity was a key sign of that change of heart. I rather wish Jesus had
only criticised people about their financial behaviour, but he was clearly very
concerned about sexual sin too.”
In sport, a Premier League football club which was
apparently “cursed” by God has been relegated in unusual circumstances. The
club won promotion to the Premier League, and promptly dumped one of its
sponsors, a local Christian-run company, in the middle of a two-year contract.
The local pastor visited the club’s board to plead with them but they laughed
at him; on leaving, he told them that God had said they would win nothing this
year. Despite an unusual degree of success in their two Cup competitions, the
club won neither; and they were deducted 3 points during the season for failing
to complete a fixture (they claimed it was due to a sickness bug hitting many
of their players), before being relegated by two points.
And finally, an American company which runs an unusual
therapeutic course called “Tough Love” is believed to be seeking to establish
the course in the UK. The course is designed for teenage boys who have driven
their parents to their wits’ end. The parents sign their teenager up for the
fortnight-long course without the teen knowing; the parents then meet the
course organiser at a pre-arranged location and sign further forms absolving
the course organisers of certain liabilities, while the teen is (forcibly if
necessary) transferred to the back of an old prison van. When the van arrives
at the course, the teens are free to leave or to refuse participation in the
army-style physical training activities; but the course is held many miles from
the nearest road, and those who do not participate are fed only a survival
diet. Mentors are available to challenge the teens on their attitudes and
activities and also to listen to and discuss any concerns, and the whole course
is video-recorded both for accountability and for the teen to see how much they
have changed in retrospect. A version of the course for teenage girls is
currently under development.
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